What Surrogates Wish They Knew Before Starting Their First Journey

Every surrogate begins her journey with questions. Some are practical. Others are emotional. Many women look back after their first surrogacy and say the same thing. I wish I had known how deeply this experience would shape me.

Surrogacy is often described as meaningful, but that word barely scratches the surface. For many women, it becomes one of the most rewarding chapters of their lives in ways they never expected. If you are considering surrogacy for the first time, here are some of the things experienced surrogates often say they wish they had known before they started.

I Did Not Expect the Friendships to Last

Many women start their surrogacy journey focused on the pregnancy itself. What often comes as a happy surprise is the sense of community that can grow along the way. Some surrogates form wonderful friendships with other surrogates and even with the families they support, built on shared milestones, encouragement, and moments that feel truly special.

One thing experienced surrogates often wish they had known is that these connections are always your choice. Surrogates get to decide how involved they want to be. Some love staying closely connected, sharing updates, and building strong personal bonds. Others prefer a more professional relationship with clear and comfortable boundaries. Both are completely okay.

Road To Baby supports surrogates in setting expectations early so everyone feels good moving forward. Knowing you can enjoy connection if you want it, while also having space when you need it, helps many first time surrogates feel confident and at ease. And for those who do open their hearts a little wider, the friendships that grow can be one of the most joyful surprises of the journey.

I Did Not Realize How Deep the Connection Would Be With the Family

One of the most common misconceptions about surrogacy is that it feels transactional. Experienced surrogates will tell you the opposite is true. Many are surprised by how naturally a deep connection can form with the intended parents.

This connection grows through shared hopes, honest conversations, and moments of vulnerability. Some families check in weekly. Others celebrate holidays together or exchange heartfelt notes throughout the journey. Every relationship looks different, but many surrogates say they gained more than they expected emotionally.

Handing a baby to their parents for the first time is often described as overwhelming in the best way. For surrogates who do witness that moment, it isn’t experienced as a loss — it’s a moment of completion. And even when they aren’t physically present, many surrogates share that knowing the parents finally have the child they’ve long hoped for feels like watching a dream come true, whether they see it happen or simply know it’s happening.

I Wish I Had Known How Supported I Would Feel

Before starting, many women worry about navigating surrogacy alone. The reality is that a strong support system makes all the difference. Road To Baby is intentional about surrounding surrogates with guidance, education, and encouragement from the very beginning.

While licensed medical professionals oversee all medical care, Road To Baby remains by your side to help with coordination, communication, and emotional support. Surrogates often say they felt reassured knowing there was always someone they could call or text when questions came up.

That sense of support helps ease anxiety and allows surrogates to focus on their health and well being throughout the journey.

I Did Not Expect to Feel So Proud of Myself

Surrogacy has a way of changing how women see themselves. Many surrogates say they gained a new level of confidence and pride. Completing a journey reminds you of your strength, resilience, and capacity for compassion.

This pride does not fade after delivery. It stays with you. It becomes part of how you view yourself and what you are capable of. For some women, it sparks interest in advocacy, mentorship, or even another journey down the road.

I Was Afraid of the Emotions, But They Were Manageable

It is completely normal to wonder how surrogacy will feel emotionally. Many first time surrogates worry about whether the experience will be harder than they expect. What experienced surrogates often share is that emotions do come up, but they are manageable, especially with the right preparation and support.

It also helps to know that surrogacy includes medical procedures and medications, which can add an extra emotional layer on top of everything else you are already doing. Your body is going through changes, your hormones are shifting, and you are carrying something incredibly meaningful for another family. That is a lot, and it is okay to acknowledge it.

Road To Baby makes sure surrogates are fully educated about what to expect emotionally and physically, and we collaborate closely with licensed medical professionals who guide all aspects of medical care. Beyond that, Road To Baby offers a level of personal support that many surrogates say makes all the difference. Our GCs have access to one‑on‑one check‑ins whenever needed, ongoing Zoom classes led by professionals, and a variety of programs and activities designed to support their well‑being throughout the journey. With open communication, clear expectations, and consistent touchpoints, many surrogates find they feel supported, understood, and more emotionally grounded than they ever anticipated : which is why Road To Baby is the best fit for so many.

I Did Not Realize How Meaningful the Birth Moment Would Be

Almost every surrogate describes the birth moment as unforgettable, though that moment can look a little different for each journey. When intended parents are able to be present, watching them meet their baby for the first time is often described as overwhelming in the best way. Tears, joy, and gratitude fill the room, and many surrogates say it is a moment they carry with them forever.

There are also times when intended parents are not able to be physically present at the birth. Even then, the moment remains deeply meaningful. Surrogates feel a strong sense of pride knowing they helped bring a long awaited child into the world, and that first update, photo, or call to the family can be just as powerful.

No matter how the birth unfolds, surrogates often share that there is a deep sense of completion and purpose in knowing they played such an important role in a family’s story. It is a moment that reminds many women exactly why they chose this journey in the first place.

I Learned That It Is Okay to Ask Questions

One of the biggest lessons surrogates share is the importance of asking questions early and often. There is no such thing as a silly concern. Understanding the process builds confidence and peace of mind.

Road to Baby encourages curiosity and open dialogue. Surrogates are supported in learning about timelines, expectations, and the collaborative process between our agency and the licensed medical professionals involved in their care. In addition to working closely with external providers, Road to Baby also offers access to in‑house professionals who are available to guide, support, and empower surrogates every step of the way.

I Wish I Had Known How Empowering It Would Be

Surrogacy is not about giving something up. It is about giving something forward. Many surrogates say they felt empowered knowing they were helping create a family while maintaining autonomy and respect throughout the journey.

This empowerment comes from being informed, supported, and valued. Road To Baby focuses on creating experiences where surrogates feel seen, heard, and appreciated every step of the way.

Thinking About Your First Journey?

If you are considering surrogacy, know that it is normal to feel excited and nervous at the same time. Experienced surrogates often say they wish they had trusted themselves sooner.

Surrogacy is not for everyone, and that is okay. But for those who feel called to it, the rewards often go far beyond expectations. The friendships, the pride, the connection, and the unforgettable moments created by a journey that stays with you long after it ends.

Road To Baby is here to answer your questions, provide honest guidance, and help you explore whether surrogacy is right for you. Sometimes the most meaningful journeys begin with simply learning what others wish they had known.

Every incredible journey begins with one brave step, and at Road to Baby, we walk that step with you.