From One Surrogate to Another — What Makes Surrogacy so Special?

Hello Road to Baby family! My name is Lauren. I'm a wife, mother, surrogate, and the admissions specialist here at Road to Baby Surrogacy and Egg Donation Agency. As a four-time surrogate mother, I’m excited to share my story and provide some tips to help my fellow surrogates.

Surrogacy has been a huge part of my life for the past seven-plus years. When we were done growing our family, I knew I wanted to help a family who couldn't have one on their own. Pregnancy was just so easy for me. My stepmom — who I look at as a mother, not a stepmom since I believe blood doesn't always make you family — wasn't able to have a child of her own due to health problems as a teenager. I saw her struggle with this even more when my sister and I started having our own. 

I always say God works in mysterious ways and I'm truly blessed she walked into our life so young. That is what started my passion for helping other women who couldn't carry on their own.

My Surrogate Story

I looked at a few surrogate agencies and found one that just felt right. Man, did everything start moving fast and before I knew it, I got the call that they found a match for me and wanted to set a time to come to the office to meet the intended parents — Enna and Len.

At the time, Enna didn't know English very well as she and Len were from China. That's right, China — how cool is that?! Enna told me her heartbreaking story about how she would become pregnant, but then soon after would lose the baby. She was pregnant 12 times and lost the baby each time because she was born with two uteruses. Her body didn't know what to do and removing one of them is not possible. 

She told me the last pregnancy made it to 21 weeks before she went into labor, and since they couldn't get to the hospital in time, she had to deliver that baby at home. My heart broke for them and I knew this was the couple I was going to help. 

Enna’s egg quality was very low and the IVF doctor sat us both down and gave us a 20% chance of it working. We decided to transfer a boy and a girl, and I started testing at home only five days after transfer and got a positive. I was so excited for them but didn't want to say anything until we got the blood work back. That was the longest wait ever!!! 

Beta day came and I got the call that my hCG level was 120. The doctor gave me the option to call the intended parents, an opportunity I was so excited for. I will never forget the joy I heard on the other end of that phone. They both were crying tears of joy and they finally had hope again. 

Two weeks later we had our first ultrasound to confirm the heartbeat. We only saw one heartbeat so we had no clue if it would be a girl or a boy, but they didn't care either way. Fast forward a bit and we found out at 26 weeks it was a boy — daddy was so excited. 

They came three weeks before my due date and spent time with the family. Up until this point, almost everything was through text or email, so this in-person connection made the relationship that much more special. Enna and Len fell in love with my kids and my kids, who reciprocated the same kind of love towards them. 

We were set to induce just three days after my due date and, boy, was I ready. I would have to say that my delivery is what made me a surrogate mother. It was even more amazing than I could have imagined. Len tried to stay on the other side of the curtain until I was all cleaned up, but as soon as he heard the baby cry he came rushing by my side with tears running down his face. Enna was holding my hand the whole time — I will never forget the look on her face. 

My heart was so full in that month to know I just helped build their family. I was blessed to share a room with them and help Enna for the two nights following delivery. She asked me and Michael, my husband, to name him. Carson is now 6 years old and I still receive updated texts and pictures all the time. Carson can speak both Chinese and English and is such an amazing little boy. 

Following this amazing journey I was blessed to carry for a family in Chicago. I did a sibling journey for them and was blessed with two amazing little girls. I'm still very close with them and also get updates and visits — this is truly special as a surrogate mother. My last and final journey ends with a little boy who lives in Australia. 

Tips From One Surrogate Mother to Another

Here at Road to Baby, it’s always our goal to help ensure a smooth process throughout surrogacy, and I’m thrilled to share some tips from my seven years of experience. A strong surrogate support group is huge, even if you think you don't need one. I don't know what I would have done without my husband by my side. He was my nurse for my shots, my masseuse when my back was hurting, and my rock to pick me up when I needed it.

I've always said the injections are the hardest part of the surrogacy process. Over the years, I have found that applying an ice pack for five minutes before the injection and using a heating pad for 10 minutes after the shot helps tremendously. The oil can be thick, so make sure you warm it up a little in your hands before and massage into the area diligently after. 

Another sentimental piece of advice I would give is to keep a little book. I always asked for double the ultrasound pictures so I could keep some for me and give some to the intended parents. 

Communication with your intended parents and surrogate agency is huge. Your agency is always here for you and has a ton of resources that could help throughout the surrogacy process. Here at Road to Baby, we love to connect with our surrogate mothers on Facebook, as it gives you, the surrogate mother, a supportive, understanding group of surrogate friends to interact with. Sometimes your own friends or family just don't understand what you’re going through as a surrogate, and it is nice to relate to others. 

Finally, remember to enjoy it. Time flies by when you’re a surrogate mother, so make sure you take the time to enjoy the gift of life you are creating!

— Lauren